Suspicious application for a Nanny job
This was received by a friend of mine in response to an advert they placed for a part-time nanny:
Funny Nanny Application
Suspicious application for a Nanny job
Black Monopoly
All in jest of course… there’s no racism on this website. Any offence, please fuck off.
Honey, did you change the password?
This insightful comic strip depicts a nail-on-the-head perception of the female psyche and issues which arise in relationships worldwide on a daily basis.
Offensive One Liners
I’ve just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said ‘I’ve not eaten for two days.’ I told him ‘I wish I had your will power.’
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently “Blacks” and “East Europeans” were not the correct answers.
A fat girl served me in McDonald’s at lunch time. She said ‘sorry about the wait.’ I said ‘don’t worry fatty, you’re bound to lose it eventually’.
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said ‘Any Change?’ I said ‘Nope, you’re still black’
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight.
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong? The boy says Me ma is dead. Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O’ Riley for you? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away, but now most doctors are Muslim I’ve found a bacon sandwich works best.
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I’m going to take that.
A man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland . He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him ‘Where am I?’ The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back. “You’re in that feckin basket.”
Solicitors
A solicitor parked his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he was getting out of the car, a truck came speeding along too close to the kerb and took off the door before zooming off.
More than a little distraught, the Solicitor grabbed his mobile and called the police.
Five minutes later, the police arrived. Before the policeman had a chance to ask any questions, the man started screaming hysterically:
“My Porsche, my beautiful silver Porsche is ruined. No matter how long it’s at the panel beaters, it’ll simply never be the same again!”
After the man finally finished his rant, the policeman shook his head in disgust.
“I can’t believe how materialistic you bloody solicitors are.” he said. “You lot are so focused on your possessions that you don’t notice anything else in your life.”
“How can you say such a thing at a time like this?” sobbed the Porsche owner.
The policeman replied: “Didn’t you realise that your arm was torn off when the truck hit you?”
The Solicitor looked down in horror…
“F***ing hell !” he screamed. “Where’s my Rolex ????”
My New Car
I bought a classic car over the weekend, but I’ve having some mechanical issues with it…
My New Car
